time.... lost or gained

sitting by the window...constantly watchin those oozing drops from the eaves is one of the most ecstatic experiences i share with myself....luckily it s been rainin for a few days....but neways thats a whole set of feelings that we d talk on some other occasion...drop by drop i kept watchin n praising the miracles nature does....i kept doin it......n doin it till the entire view appeared still....as if a photograph...the eyeballs did not stirr n the breathing became very silent hands had stopped fiddling with the window panes n the thumb at the end of the leg n the finger beside it had stopped wrestling.....n just then i lost the view...just lost it....n before i cud realize i was pondering over my carrier.....my life to follow n why was i not serious....what am i supposed to do??? ...n those fears that i often burry under hollow words of self-praisal.....BHAISEEEE......just then came that shrieking voice of the monsterous creature that dwells along with me in the same abode....my mother asserts she is my sister n zapppp.....i m back....the splattering noise the hurling rain drops n the beauty of the nature once again.....back....but i was thinkin about wat i was thinking....n soon the rain stopped n i cud feel the romanticism in the air and cud not resist the beckon.....n off iwas on my bike....the wind patting my face n that ruffle in the hair...the passion and aggression clearly visible on the speedometer....i had hit 100km/hr....i cud feel the blood gushing below my skin....n i kept goin n goin......30 minutes of riding....passion had steamed out...blood below my skin...i guess it was still somewhere...n speedometer lingering around 40km/hr....wind....no...air was aruond....n the entire traffic seemed as if placed at differnt spots as menniquines....n again i slipped into that world of self accusations...this time....i cud see her face shouting the accusations she put on me....she was a bitch...she never understood me....but y do i feel the other way now...i mean yes!!!....i sometimes wud become selfish....but.....n wud distrust her....but...n wud lie to her....but...damn!! no buts i cud hve resolved it...i din.....GET OFF THE ROAD YOU FUCK IF YOU WANNA STROLL....came the demand of a law-abiding civilized fellow citizen....n zapppp...i was back....while i was exchanging a few words of broterhood with my fellow being my mind was still around those thoughts....back home after a decent meal with a comparatively untired body i lay on my bed and went on grilling myself over the events that occured and realized the most important things in my life which i never think about struck me when i was not willing to put efforts into it.....n wat about subjectivity....no!!!rite...there was no bias....i guess this is the most purest ...the most rawest form of life one can witness....n that is why they say there is much more to life than meets the eye....i mean no preaching but always think of wat you thot wen you din want to coz then you can not fool neone and most importantly yourself...........